I just put an old lady's maxi pad through the wash and all I can think is this is my life...


Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Work in Progress.

Since I don't have any time off, I'm foregoing sleep in order to get something done in my bedroom. It's slowly starting to come together. Only trouble is, the better it looks, the worse the rest of the apartment looks. Seriously, what else am I supposed to do with all the stuff that I took out of the bedroom. Oye. Work in progress. Work in progress...

This is my life...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Artwork For Your Tastebuds.

If this concept is even possible, this:

is artwork for your tastebuds.

A triple layered tower of milk chocolate mousse, dark chocolate mousse peaked with a Belgian chocolate coulis and supported by a chocolate biscuit. The top layer of chocolate melts down the entire mountain!

Compliments Sensations Mont Belge Fondant. Who knew Sobeys had this in them? This is my life!!!

The End. A New Beginning.

As I've sort of been documenting recently, I've been on a soul searching expedition. I am trying to find a way to be happy with my life and decide if that can translate into being happy in a long distance relationship with Jay. This has required me to set aside my love for him, and think seriously about the areas of the relationship that depress me so much. I've had a lot of help from Elizabeth Gilbert! Not personally, but through her book, "Eat Pray Love". The way she described her relationship with David really struck a chord with me. It was SO similar to the things I've been going through with Jay. In her book, David jokingly suggests the following solution:

"What if we just acknowledged that we have a bad relationship, and we stuck it out, anyway? What if we admitted that we make each other nuts, we fight constantly and hardly ever have sex, but we can't live without each other, so we deal with it? And then we could spend our lives together - in misery, but happy to not be apart."

Aside from the specifics being a little off, this is what my relationship with Jay has come to. So tonight we had a rational and reasonable talk about it. We talked about the things we needed from this relationship to make it work while we're forced to be apart. It ended up that what he wanted was something that I realized depressed me about our arrangement and what I wanted (to hug him) wasn't possible.

Jay: You want things that can't happen...
Me: You want things that won't happen.

It turns out that it was a deal breaker for him. (Side note: When my best friend Ay is worried about something her guy has done, I say "Is it a deal breaker?" And when she tells me it isn't, I tell her to not worry about it.) So I'm respecting his request that this all just stops so that he can try to move on. And honestly, I'm alright with that. Neither of us has to put up with something that doesn't make us 100% satisfied with our relationship and we did it without fighting. :)

This is my life.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

In Review.

I am a huge fan of Alice Sebold. All of her work. This novel was no exception. From other reviews I've read, I take it that most people don't like this book based on two things that occur within the first few chapters - the main character, Helen, kills her dying mother and then has sexual relations with her best friends adult son. I wonder if people get so appalled by these acts that they immediately hate the Helen? If you keep an open mind (which may be easier for me because I face death on a regular basis in my line of work), I think Helen deserves our compassion (and perhaps pity), not our judgement. My only issue with the book as a whole was the ending. It leaves me wanting to know more!

This is my life...

In a Funk.

To understand the relationship I had with Jay, I think you need to know a little background information. For instance, according to Jay, he fell for me the very first time he ever talked to me, which at this point was almost 2 years ago. In fact, even though I swear he's the catch, he's been chasing me this entire time. And I have totally taken advantage of it. I always knew that no matter how much I messed up, or pushed him away, or even if I broke up with him, he'd always take me back. So even though I love him, I push.

Fast forward to now.

Last night I got into a slight disagreement with Jay. Basically, he tried to talk me into giving us a chance no matter how hard it is. I got upset and sarcastic and said something he didn't appreciate. And now I think that I've really pushed too far. This time I don't know that he will forgive me. This time I don't think that I love you is enough.

The one good thing to come out of this? While lying awake last night, all I could think about is how depressed I've been since he moved away. I work and I sleep and sometimes my friends can drag me out of the house, but usually I have to be bribed with food and even then I'm sure I'm cranky more often than not. My apartment is in shambles. Seriously, I don't think I've washed the dishes in MONTHS! As you may have read in a previous post, it got to the point where I missed Jay so much that I would curl into a ball on the couch and cry my face off anytime I actually heard from him.

The crying outbursts were a huge reason that I needed to break up with him. What's the point of being in love and being in a relationship with someone you love if it makes you feel like that? But upon reflection, I can't blame Jay for this. Like he says, it could be worse, we're both alive and we'll be together someday. Said. Like he said. Oye. I've realized that I can't be happy with someone else if I'm not happy with me. So now I am kicking myself in the ass! I just got off an overnight and I'm back to the Nursing Home for another shift at 4:30pm but I am washing my damn dishes! I am going to put away all my clothes! I am changing the litter box! Even if Jay refuses to forgive me again, I am not living this life of couch to work to couch any longer! ENOUGH IS EFFIN ENOUGH! THIS IS MY LIFE!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Week One: Spring Cleaning

Back to The Cure: Spring 2010. The first week, well weekend is supposed to be dedicated to some Spring cleaning. Since I'm just starting a string of 5 O/N's in a row (3 asleep, 2 awake), I'll be doing this bit by bit as I have the time. Here's some changes I've made during the "cleaning".:


You probably can't tell in these photos but i'm beginning to put up Sticky Notes to remind myself of the additions/changes I want to try out in the future. Like finally getting a lightbulb for that lamp and getting curtains for the window. Suggestions?

This is my life...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Bedroom Makeover.

These are some bedrooms that I enjoy:

Gorgeous colours but in a rental, it's hard to replicate this. Thank you Apartment Therapy (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com).

Love the symmetry. This is definitely more do-able! Thank you Happily Ever After in Seattle (http://happilyeverafterinseattle.blogspot.com).

Might just be the perfect way to add a focal point to a rental. Thank you ByrdieGraphics (http://www.etsy.com/shop/byrdiegraphics).

I'll come up with a few more ideas over the next couple of days because this is my life.

Waste Less.

Two weeks later and THIS:

is the entirety of my waste!! Incase it's not clear, this is a kitchen sized garbage bag (Small) and it is barely half full. That means, I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE GARBAGE TO THE CURB TODAY!!! Yayyyy. I'll update you next garbage day! This is my life!

Cure Spring 2010

I found this great contest through Apartment Therapy (http://cure.apartmenttherapy.com/2010/spring) called The Cure: Spring 2010. It's an 8 step program designed to encourage and support it's participants as they make changes to their living spaces. I'm in desperate need of a well designed bedroom so I can't start sleeping in my bed, and not on the couch in the living room. Here are my Before pictures:

This shows the awful built in shelving that I DO NOT know how to arrange nicely, obviously. Currently a mismatch of stuff has found it's way onto the shelves and my storage containers (for craft supplies) are underneath. On the right is my VHS collection piled haphazardly on an end table that doesn't match anything else in the apartment.

The view from the door. Blanket covers the VERY small window that offers little light and NO view. A dehumidifier is being used as an end table with a broken lamp on it. Empty shoe rack and a couple awkward bookshelves/serving trays hold STUFF.

Same view as first picture, just the opposite side of the room. "Full length" mirror set up for getting dressed, though I usually do this in my large living room mirror. Ugly dresser that belonged to the bedroom set my parents used to own. BARE WALLS!

In the not too distant future I'll be adding some photos of the design styles I enjoy for bedrooms. As well as my plans for my own room. This is my life.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

In Review.

I just finished reading, The Deserter's Tale: The Story of an Ordinary Soldier Who Walked Away from the War in Iraq by Joshua Key. All I can say is AMAZING READ! Okay, that's not all I can say, but that's certainly the first thing that comes to mind. This biography was so well written and easy to follow along (unlike many non-fiction accounts of war). The entire time I was reading it I could hardly put it down and I found myself absolutely appalled by the things done and witnessed by the author.I've never been a supporter of President Bush or the war in Iraq or war in general but I always felt that it was important to support the men and women who were there fighting for our "freedom" despite my beliefs. Now after reading this book, I can only hope that humanity hasn't sunk this low and that serious changes will be made because honestly, how do I support that?

As always, this is my life.

Monday, March 15, 2010


For the second time this week, I've unwillingly been included in the private lives of my neighbour and her boyfriend. How you might ask? Well, the apartment walls are very thin and they insist on SCREAMING at each other at the top of their lungs. Now I can't say that my relationship with Jay was always wonderful, we certainly had our disagreements, but we NEVER yelled at each other. Even if we were frustrated with each other, and I'll admit, at least once I hung up on him, we never yelled and we never went to bed angry. I broke up with him and his response was, You're amazing and if you change your mind I'll be here for you. After hearing the arguments from next door, I am so happy that Jay and I never fought! It may not be perfect, but this is my life.

P.S. A bit of advice to my neighbour: I'm all for not going to bed angry but if it's not working it's not working! Take a break and come back to it when you're calm.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Why I Love 1978.

To truly appreciate my newly single status (yes, I ended things with the long distance beau), I decided to share with everyone, Why I love 1978.

1. James Franco

I think the description: actor, director, screenwriter, producer, and painter really says it all! But just incase you need a little more convincing, look at that smoldering gaze! Sigh.

2. Andy Samberg

You've got to admit that he makes dorky look SO cool. And a sense of humor to boot! I might just be in love.

3. Joshua Jackson

If when you think Joshua Jackson you think Dawson's Creek or The Mighty Ducks, watch 'One Week' and you'll be inspired!

4. Jim Sturgess

The lopsided haircut, the accent, the singing voice... But of course Jim would make the list!

Sure these guys are great eye candy, but they're also very talented, creative artists and THE best part of each of them: They're in relationships with strong, beautiful women!

* Honourable mention to 1981 for providing us with: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Hayden Christensen!

...and 1985, because this is my life : )

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I Am Tired of Waiting. The Trews.

So I,
Stand to let you down, here, alone.
I can't,
Seem to dream of you, no more.
No more.
No more.

I am tired of waiting.
I'm tired of waiting.
I am tired.

Sadly, this is my life..............

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Jewelry, A Week Later.

A pretty necklace (my 7th for those who haven't been keeping score) and my new hippy dress. I'm in love. This is my life!

The Songs in my Head.

I may as well use this forum to attempt to unstick a few songs from my head. Or maybe for the sake of getting them stuck in their another day...

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

...wasted on fixing all the problems,
that you made in your own head...

This song is so catchy and easy to sing along to. Also, there's something about the way they sing the word 'fucked' that makes me want to be British. Seriously! You cannot be mad at someone who says fucked so cutely. Sigh!

All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye by John Mayer

...I love you more than songs can say,
but I can't keep running after yesterday...

Oddly reminds me of my current relationship. Or my past relationship. Or every relationship I've ever had with a guy. Hmmm, it's certainly all encompassing and it's on repeat in my head as we speak. I'm not usually a John Mayer fan but I'll let this one slip through the cracks.

Up Up And Away by Kid Cudi

There's nothing overly fantastic about the lyrics, aside from this little excerpt from the chorus: cause they gon' judge me anyway, so whatever. But the beat makes me want to get up and bounce around the room. So far it has worked wonders keeping me awake on some of my O/N's!

This is my life...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Jewelry, Day 6.

My new locket from Etsy!! BrooklynGrace did a fantastic job. You can find her at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BrooklynGrace

...this is my life!

They Say It's Your Birthday.

Happy Birthday Aych

It's hard to believe that my little sister is 22! That really makes me feel old. Luckily I finished her scarf in time for the big day:

I even managed to beautify her store bought cake:

This was her cake choice, by the way! I would've loved to have baked her one had she wanted it. I must admit these are delicious. White pound cake with buttercream icing. Mmm. I did have to take off the ugly icing flower and replace it with a cracked Cadbury Creme Egg!!! And the Dollar Store candles always look great - til you light them. I see lots of cake in my future. I wonder how I'll follow my Mindful Eating Challenge when a plate of this is in front of me? Sigh, this is my life...

SNL Guest Host Art

One of my favorite parts of Saturday Night Live (aside from any skit with Andy Samberg in it and "What Up With That?") is the guest host art/photos that they show before the commercial breaks.

I don't know why, but these typically make me laugh more than some of the skits! This is my life...

Better Choice Challenge.

I couldn't sleep while at work the other night so I started watching early AM television. At 5am, I came across a repeat of Steven and Chris in which they were introducing their Better Choice Challenge:


Being a sucker for anything that could possibly improve my life, especially financially, I decided to give it a try. Currently their are ten challenges in five seperate categories ranging from finances to fitness. I've completed numbers 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, and 10. I'm willing to make any necessary improvements because this is my life!

Monday, March 8, 2010


I think it's obvious that this dress by ShainaMote (http://www.etsy.com/shop/ShainaMote) was made for me! The built in jersey shorts couldn't be more perfect for a reformed tomboy like me who CANNOT pass a good tree without attempting to climb it. This may just have to be my Congratulations You Got Money Back From Your Taxes gift. Sigh, this is my life...

Just Because.

Chubb Bub loves Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Soy Milk too! Clearly we're meant to be! This is my life.

Jewelry, Day Five.

I'm not gonna lie, I look really nice today! Today I really don't mind that this is my life.

Retail Therapy.

Some of my recent purchases:

Finally found a frame for this print from Ambera Wellmann (http://www.etsy.com/shop/Ambera). I love, love, love it!!

Words cannot describe how much I love this chest. I literally did my Lotto 6 49 Happy Dance when I set it up in my living room. It's almost like it belongs there. Best part? It was on sale because the paint was chipping. Ummm, pretty sure that's what I love about it!

Gorgeous pots for my future plants? Check! Bright, primary colors? Check! $2 a piece? Check!!! I LOVE the Dollar Store.

And last but not least, my beautiful Dollar Store bird feeder. It's almost too cute to put outside!

This is my (beautiful) life!

Baby Names.

My childhood best friend is currently preggers with baby number two. We had serious discussions surrounding the chosen name for baby number one (Jackson) because I've wanted to name my son Jack for as long as I can remember. Our compromise was if baby number one ended up being a girl, I would have to run out and get myself knocked up so that I could be the first to use the Jack name. She had a boy. And to make things worse, my Uncle and his wife recently had their first. A boy named Jack. Oye.

So this time around, I've decided not to hold any names too dearly and am throwing them all out as suggestions for my friend. I figure, by the time I get around to naming my own children, I'll have a whole new set of favorites. Might as well help out while I can. Besides, my boyfriend has already mentionned his favorite baby names (Hercules being his number one, I kid you not) and I think we'll have a hell of a time compromising when the time comes.

Til the time comes, I guess I'll just keep Tatum Alexander and Hayley Quinn on the back burner and cross my fingers that they don't get used first. This is my life...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Jewelry, Day Four.

Sadly, I haven't even left the house yet today, except to walk home from work. In about 10 minutes I'll have to walk back to work for another O/N but I got dressed simply to put on some jewelry. Here goes nothing...

Wearing jewelry to work an O/N in a nursing home... this is my life.

This Little Piggy Went to Market.

My latest obsessions are piggy banks! I found this cute little guy at the dollar store.

I think this guy from The Pig Pen (http://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePigPen) might have to be my next purshase.

Now if only I could save enough change to be able to put something into these piggy banks... This is my life!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Plant Babies.

I want an apartment full of plants! Green as far as the eye can see. The only problem is I'm a BAD plant mommy. For instance, I had a Cypress tree and cactus at the same time. Due to their locations, I never remembered to water the cypress tree and over watered the cactus. I just can't win. But I will not give up. This Aloe plant and Cactus are my latest plant babies:

Cross your fingers (or toes), that they'll thrive. Living in a sea of green? This is my life!!

Jewelry, Day Three.

...this is my life.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Retail Therapy.

My latest purchase(s), from the local drugstore at that! I must say I'm in love with anything rustic. And these are simply adorable.

I think I will soon run out of space for showcase items on my three tiny built-in shelves. Hmmm... That will have to be added to the list of must-have's for my next apartment! Right up there with a dishwasher. Sigh, this is my life.

Jewelry, Day Two.

Another day,

another necklace. This is my life...

Long Distance Relationships.

I love my boyfriend! He's sweet and goofy and romantic in his own way. He came into my life when I was content being single and was not looking for a relationship but he perfectly filled this void in my life that I didn't know I had. He's truly amazing and he's perfect, for me. BUT, life threw a wrench into our wonderful little existence. A wrench that turned our twenty minute walk relationship into an 8 hour flight/passport's are necessary relationship.

Even if you have never been in a long distance relationship, I am sure you can appreciate just how DIFFICULT it is. Constant texting wasn't enough so we switched to phone calls. Six hour phone conversations became too expensive so I hooked up the internet. Instant messaging was worse than texting because you can't always carry your computer around with you, so I bought a webcam and we gave Skype a try.

It turns out that two hour Skype dates are both the best and worst thing that could've happened to us. The "face to face" interaction involved with a Skype date is amazing. Getting to see him smile at me and hear him tell me I'm beautiful is amazing. The downside is it's something you get addicted to really quickly. Honestly, I need my boyfriend fix on a daily basis which just isn't possible due to time zones and work schedules. This is not good. I literally FREAK OUT! The stages are always the same. First, I obsessively check to see if he's online, every 5 minutes. Second, I become dissatisfied with and depressed by my life. Third, I burst into tears when I finally do hear from my boyfriend and don't want to talk to or see him. Fourth, I tell him that I never want to talk to him again because it's too hard for me. Finally, he calms me down, reminds me that we're worth it and I apologize and vow not to break up with him (then beg for his forgiveness) again for at LEAST another week.

It's the worst! But for now, this is my life.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hide and Go Seek Poop & Other Potty Tales.

Due to the nature of my two jobs (residential support worker for the elderly and adults with special needs), I deal with an excessive amount of human excrement. By now I'm used to it and can talk about it in great detail while eating, without a single gag. Occasionally it leads to highly disgusting (or humourous) stories that get shared with coworkers who are always trying to outdo you with their bathroom humour. Here are a few of mine, off the top of my head...

Last night at work I was making the rounds, attempting to disinfect all of the bathrooms. It's fairly common on these rounds to come across toilets that haven't been flushed as well as toilet seats that caught more of the flow than the bowls did. On this trip, I came across some floating feces. Usually this wouldn't make for much of a story except this piece of feces was the length and width of a ferret and the damn thing WOULD. NOT. FLUSH. Every time I would flush it, it would disappear and just before I could turn away, it would pop it's stinky little head back out the hole. I seriously had to play hide and go seek with a piece of feces for ten minutes! Flushed it once, and it came back. Flushed it twice, and it popped out again. Flushed it a third time... and I got out of there before it could come visit again. I hope for the sake of the next person coming on shift that it stayed down, but knowing that crazy poop, it'll be back to play games again.

This doozy comes from the Nursing Home. Now, I'm not sure how many of you know what a colostomy bag is, so if after reading this story you're still a little confused, just promise me you won't try to Google it. Anyways, one night at the Nursing Home I came in for an overnight shift and was told we had a new admission. The trouble with new admissions and O/N's is that they're usually asleep by the time I come in and have to surprise them with introductions in the morning. This time i wasn't so lucky. Before the coworker I was relieving left, she told me to be warned that the woman had both a catheter and a colstomy bag that I may need to empty periodically during the night. I was also warned that she was given a bell to ring if she needed help with anything. For the record, let me note that before this occasion, I had never changed a catheter and had never even seen a colostomy bag let alone know how to change either. Cut to 3am when the dreaded bell starts to ring. I run into the woman's room to see how I can be of service. She informs me that she feels a little damp and could I please wipe her crotch area with a warm cloth. Sure, no problem. When I was done, almost as an after thought, I offered to check her colostomy bag to see if it needed to be drained. Honestly, at this point I think it was 3am, I had a bad case of the tired humour sillies and I was curious to see what a colostomy bag looked like. BIG mistake. Upon lifting up her nightgown, I realized the real cause of her "dampness". Her colostomy bag had EXPLODED and liquid feces was EVERYWHERE!!!! This is one of those Ohhhhh SHIT moments when I tend to stare slack jawed into space for 15 or 20 seconds before I clue into the fact that I'm the only one there so I'd better do something about it. Somehow, with the help of almost an entire container of baby wipes and a half a roll of hospital tape, I cleaned the mess and fixed the "leak". Of course, the next day they finally gave me a colostomy bag tutorial. Better late than never?!?

... this is my life.

Oscar the Grouch.

I've been inspired to waste less. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I consistently forget garbage day and feed my shed more (and more) garbage bags every other week. Perhaps it's due to the fact that 85% of my garbage is Tim Horton's waste. Perhaps it's due to the amazing work on the part of LALA dex press (http://laladexpress.blogspot.com) who hasn't accumulated enough trash in over three months to need to take out a single bag on garbage day. Who knows the reasons. They're not important. What is important? The fact that I am going to go out of my way to limit the amount of garbage I create. I will REDUCE, REUSE, and RECYCLE like it's my job. And if that's not enough, I will piss everyone off even more by declining every bag, piece of tissue paper, or excessive wrapper that unsuspecting cashiers attempt to pass off on me. Phew, run on sentence. Anyways, this. is. my. life.

Jewelry. Day One.

I think perhaps I'm slowly growing out of my "tomboy" phase. It started in my Senior year of high school when I actually began to wear makeup. These days, I have to use two hands to count the number of dresses in my closet AND I'm starting to acquire a little bit of a jewelry collection. Because of this, I have decided to wear at least one piece of jewelry every day for a week. I'll keep track of it on here with photos when I can. Here goes nothing...

... this is my life.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Knitting, Day Six

Time permitting, this is my life.

A Week in the Life of Me.

MONDAY- DAY OFF! WOO! Skipped sleep after my overnight because I had to return my Diddy's Jeep. Spent some time with the grandparentals - knitting, sewing, watching the Olympics. Dropped off the Jeep, then went to a local restaurant with a group of friends. Nachos! Yum!

TUESDAY- Finally got to see the boyfriend, thanks to a much needed Skype date! Two hours later and I missed him more than ever. Then, worked an evening shift at the Nursing Home (4:30pm til 11:30pm).

WEDNESDAY- DAY OFF! WOO! Did a little knitting. Read a few more pages of James Frey's new book, Bright Shiny Morning. Watched the local University hockey team's first playoff game with my best friend.

THURSDAY- Cleaned the apartment for a house viewing. My sister came over and brought me potato scallop for supper (YUM!). We drove to our Diddy's house for our weekly Rummoli game. Back to town in time to work an overnight (11:30pm til 8:30am) at the Nursing Home.

FRIDAY- Slept til 2pm. Worked at the Group Home from 3pm til 11pm. Took a cab to the Nursing Home and worked an overnight.

SATURDAY- Slept from about 9:30am til 11:30am. Went to the 2nd birthday party of my friend's little guy from 1pm til 2pm. Worked at the Group Home from 3pm til 11pm. Took a cab (again) to the Nursing Home and worked another overnight.

YESTERDAY- Slept til 4pm. Went to a local bar/restaurant to watch Canada win GOLD!!! Played cards and ranted about boys with my best friend. Worked an overnight at the Nursing Home.

... this is my life.