I read alot of blogs. I get these tiny glimpses into stranger's lives and they look perfect. Seriously. The super mom's who have all the parenting answers. The housewives who have a superbly clean and organized house. Their perfect little kids who have a better fashion sense than I do. Their adorable pets who seem to never shed. Seriously? Oh, and their rock-solid marriages. I look at these "perfect" bloggers and all I can think is, "I hope no one gets that impression from my blog!"
So here's a little reality check for my sanity if for no other reason...
Yes, I own my dream house but ... we've been here for more than two weeks and still everything is not unpacked, after staring at clumps of dog hair on the stairs I finally swept them yesterday and the hair is back with a vengeance today, sweeping that once is the only chore I've done since we moved in (aside from laundry), and because of our mortgage, every cent of my (EI maternity leave) pay cheques are budgeted up the wazoo.
Yes, I am madly in love with my sweet hubby and plan to spend the rest of my life with him but... he frustrates me to no end some days (esp. when he sleeps through the baby's night-time awakenings), for my birthday he bought me a pair of "mom jeans" (sure I picked them out at his insistence but that didn't make me any less disappointed), when I'm sick/injured it is pretty much ignored but when he is it's the biggest deal ever, he's always working or working out, and we fight alot lately - and it always ends unresolved and with threats of leaving each other and then we pretend nothing happened til it comes up again.
Yes, I have the sweetest little baby girl but... I'm not going to complain about my sweet little girl because I am so blessed to have her in my life. My parenting is another story though, I let my 3 month old watch TV because it holds her attention and I'm tired of singing the ABC song while bouncing her on my lap. Sometimes I even leave her crying in her crib while I finish a meal because I just want to finish one meal without trying to eat around the baby on my lap. Sometimes I cry because I just want to go one day without having to change my clothes 5 times because she spit up on me.
Yes, my dog is effin adorable but... some days I want to open the door and encourage her to run away. Harsh I know, but I'm tired of always being the one to clean up after her when she's dug through the garbage or torn a poopy diaper into little sh&^ty shreds and left them spread across our home.
As for me, sometimes I wear the same dirty @$$ sweatpants for days and days without ever taking them off. Sometimes I eat McDonald's daily for a week or more - and only take a day off to order take-out pizza. I haven't had someone cut my hair for me in years. I have at least 20lbs of baby weight that I'd like to get rid of though I never ever work out. I often feel bored, unfulfilled, and resentful. I don't have a life outside of my daughter which is emotionally draining. I never clean, rarely cook, and am bad at keeping in contact with people that I care about.
This is me. I am soooo not perfect but I kinda sorta maybe love my life just the same. Even if it is spent covered in spit-up, wearing "mom jeans", batheing once a week... Oh, didn't I mention the batheing part? Hmm :) This is my life!