I just put an old lady's maxi pad through the wash and all I can think is this is my life...


Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Comical Complications of TTC

To start I must apologize to any future grandparents who may come across this while leisurely keeping up to date on my life - Sorry for ruining the surprise! On that note, this whole process of TTC (trying to conceive) is beyond comical! Okay, so it's alot of things - exciting, nerve-wracking, stressful, etc. Today, while i'm home sick from work due to a very persistent bladder infection (TMI - I know), I'll try to update you on a few funny realizations after my first month of TTC.

Since we've really just began to try, I haven't done much more than Google the topic to aid in our adventure. I haven't succumbed to taking my temperature daily or buying expensive over the counter ovulation kits yet. I mainly just try to keep things in for 15 minutes following "the deed" and I'm taking prenatal vitamins to up my folic acid intake. I don't want becoming pregnant to resemble a job more than the fun job it should be. Oh, but then there's the mucous. As a little "Hey, you're ovulating" heads up, your vaginal mucous changes. It becomes thin and stringy... Or was it thick and elastic-y? Okay, I still haven't gotten this part down yet. But I can honestly say that all these years that I've longed to meet the right guy, settle down, and have babies, I never imagined that the state of my vaginal mucous would take the place of foreplay for Turkey Butt and I.

Something that struck me as funny as I was preparing to take my first at home pregnancy test was the product's packaging. I opened the box and realized that clearly, based on the packaging, they wanted me to piss on a fruit roll up...

My last comical incident of this post occurred in the parking lot of a fast food joint the other day. After I downed half a medium container of KFC gravy (yes, I drank it), I prayed that I was knocked up for no other reason than to justify what I just did. Then I went to Tim Horton's and bought 6 timbits and 2 donuts...

Due to the bladder infection and these pesky antibiotics, we'll be acting like teenagers (according to Turkey Butt) and using condoms for the next week or so. With my luck though, I'll be posting more stories in no time!

This is my life...


  1. I would like to nominate this post as the single best blog post of 2010. Seriously! You *drank* KFC gravy?! :-)

    Best of luck in your endeavours!