I just put an old lady's maxi pad through the wash and all I can think is this is my life...


Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I just want to start this by saying that I am so very thankful for the wonderful life I live. My amazing family, my great friends, and even my smelly dog. I am thankful for my sister who spent 6 hours of her Thanksgiving keeping me company in the Emergency Room and for my wonderful Turkey Butt who loves me with all his heart and will forever do so, no matter what life throws at us.

Yeah. I spent 6 hours in the Emergency Room on Thanksgiving Sunday. I noticed some front bum bleeding when I got home from turkey dinner at my grandparent's house and found out shortly before 2am that I was in the process of miscarrying my little bun.

I'm doing alright now. My physical pain has subsided a great deal (though the doctor has me on strict orders to not work and take it easy) and my emotional pain is ... better. I'm still heartbroken. I still feel like a little bit of a failure. I still think it is not fair at all. But I can smile and laugh and go most of the day without crying. I can hug and kiss Turkey Butt and know that we're really going to be alright.

We barely had time to get used to the idea of having a bun in the oven. It's actually been less than a week since I peed on two home pregnancy tests - and received two positive results. But alot happens in such a short time. We created a nickname for our fertilized egg. We talked baby names. Turkey Butt kissed my still small belly every night before bed. We pondered our future with our little baby bun....

But we'll be okay. And we'll keep trying. And no matter what this life brings us, we will always have each other. This is my life.


  1. Oh, wow, sweetie. What a week! I'm so, so very sorry for your loss! I'm pretty sure there is nothing I can say that will even begin to make a difference, really. But my thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and Mr. TB.

  2. Thank you Lisa. That sweet note was all that I could ever ask for! xo Elle