I've got to be honest... juggling caring for a newborn, keeping house, going through the process of purchasing a house, the holidays and a marriage is hard! You're bound to drop the ball on something. Sadly, in my case, I let my marriage falter for awhile.
The stress of everything had been piling up on my shoulders. I was cranky and frustrated. I felt more like the nanny/maid/chauffeur than a wife and mother. I made the mistake of taking my frustration out on Turkey Butt. We ended up fighting and arguing on a daily basis. Heck, most days we weren't even speaking to each other because saying nothing was better than saying something we might regret.
The low point came one morning when neither of us could remember if we had ever been happy together. Believe me when I say this was the worst because we've had such an amazing relationship full of so much happiness! We were just becoming blinded by the bad. For awhile that day I honestly thought we might not make it. But then Turkey Butt, after awhile of nothing being said, told me loved me!
Well folks, that woke me up! Why was I getting so frustrated and pessimistic? I have an amazing husband who is so in love with me he bawled at our wedding. I have the most perfect baby girl whom I have waited my whole life for. I have an adorable, lovable dog. We're in the process of buying our dream house. I have wonderful family and friends who fill my life with joy. So why was I so angry all the time?
Enough was enough! After that low point, I vowed to take a deep breath and relax. My life is absolutely amazing and I plan to enjoy every last second of it. It's only been a few days since I vowed to see the glass half full instead of half empty, but I can already feel the difference. I talk to sweet hubby respectfully, I can laugh about all the house buying hoops that I jump through daily, and I'm enjoying my time with Little Miss Elle!
Instead of trying to end my maternity leave so that I can go to work and feel as though I'm accomplishing something, I'm taking the Little Miss out into the community to meet new people. Yesterday we visited my Great Great Aunt and her husband. They don't get many visitors and have been under the weather lately so it was truly amazing to see how much they adored their visit with Little Miss Elle. We also stopped in to the Nursing Home I used to work at yesterday. The little old lady's all got a kick out of holding the squirming baby and giving her lots of kisses! Having one of the Alzheimer's patients ask me who I was really made me appreciate my life. I think after the new year, the babe and I will have to visit more frequently. It is wonderful the joy ten minutes with a baby can bring!
As always, thank you for listening to my rant. This is my life....